The Laughing Sutra by Mark Salzman

Author:Mark Salzman [Salzman, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-81424-1
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2012-01-04T00:00:00+00:00

WHEN THE COLONEL knocked on his cabin door that night, Captain Wong was pouring his third tumbler of scotch, leaving just enough room in the glass for a single ice cube. “Who the hell is that?” he grumbled, but when he heard it was Colonel Sun, he rushed to the door.

“Master Sun—you should have just come in! No need to be formal about anything with me—you’re my sifu, after all!”

The colonel saw that Wong was drunk. He accepted a glass of scotch, then sat down at the captain’s table.

“Next week we arrive,” Captain Wong said with a huge grin, “and then we show those black and white bastards real Chinese boxing!”

The colonel didn’t smile. “Do people at that tavern carry guns?”

Wong looked surprised. “Of course not! Why?”

“Everyone knows that most people in America carry guns,” the colonel declared confidently, “and that nearly all of them are crazy. I don’t feel like getting shot because I beat some guy in a boxing match. You tell me straight—what will our situation be?”

Wong stared at him. Then a look of understanding came over his face. “Aaaaah … I know what this is all about! It’s hsüan-ch’uan—propaganda! That’s all bullshit! The party tells you that so you won’t leave China! Ha ha ha!”

The colonel showed no signs of relief. “What’s hsüan-ch’uan?” he asked sharply.

Now Wong really seemed perplexed. He tilted his head to one side, where it swayed for a moment, then said, “Propaganda! That’s what the party tells you to make you think that life in China is better than anywhere else. What else did they tell you about America?”

“I heard that everyone smokes opium and that the dee-force rate is one hundred percent. And they don’t care about their families.”

“The dee-force rate? You mean ‘divorce rate’?”

“Right. It’s one hundred percent. That can’t be good.”

Wong shook his head and took a big swallow of scotch. “Listen—that’s all bullshit. It’s exaggerated, do you understand? Sure, there’s guns and opium in America, but it’s the same in Hong Kong. They tell you those things in China so that you won’t complain when you find out how rich the rest of the world is. You forget all that stuff, understand? You go and look around and decide for yourself. But there’s no guns at the bar. If you fight fair, you won’t have any trouble. All right?”

The colonel’s mind seemed elsewhere. “What do you mean, how rich the rest of the world is?” he asked slowly.

Wong laughed and raised his glass in a toast. “You’ll see! And I’ll bet you a hundred dollars you and your friend won’t ride this boat back! To wealth!”

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